Kwani unanyesha

The body of a woman is complex in all dynamics and unique .No one woman has the same experience as the other ,some women have " easy menses". Where all the four days (plus/minus) are as the other day of the month besides the extra weight of tampon or pad they carry around. This women are surrounded by a mystical energy that makes them bold and beautiful. They are happy ,daring and go for what they want . Occasionally they might relapse to a state of callousness but the bounce back.

 However, it goes without saying that not everyone has it all rossy and daisies. For some,the process is excruciatingly painful. some have  complications from the simple lack of appetite to the extreme vomiting each meal that goes down their throat. Let me not get started on the tossing and turning in bed writhing in pain and  curling oneself like a clothe being wrung in pursuit of a pinch of comfort. At  that moment, even  breathing is a burden.Because anytime you take a deep breathe ,your lung stops ,your body system shut down. Everything you feel ,wish and want avoid sinks in ; maximum pain waves rushing all over your body. I do not justify when women are mean because of their periods. Although, pain does something to a person. All those crimes movies are a good evidence of that ;when people are beaten or electrocuted they rat out their accomplices or turn out against each other. So I do understand  the  origin of the phrase "kwani unanyesha" 

I am sure that every Kenyan woman who has reached the age of menstration has had that thrown their way. There is a twisted ideology that a woman can not just be happy,excited ,sad or sombre, independent of her periods. A boy will hit on you and when you blatantly tell them that you're not interested ,the infamous line is their pick up phrase. Just the fact that a woman is assertive enough to give you a "NO" or call you out on your bullshit does not mean she is on her menses. Don't get me wrong ,when women are on that red dent they tend to be moody most of the time , however,most of the time is not all the time. Menses should not be a bar set on women's mood. We all become sad and irritable when things don't go our way or when we have had enough. Nonetheless,we have days when our dopamine levels hit the roof. It is human and thus  looking at menses from only the emotional dimension is a shallow way to portray this period of a woman's life.

Our brothers have been taught to avoid us like plagues when  we're on our red sojourn .This is a habit they carry into their adulthood and promote unhealthy menstral habits. Most of them do not know how to behave around their girlfriends and wives when they have their menses . "Kama unanyesha sare tu, next week haina noma." That is a phrase thrown around a lot.Seriously ,men, what's the deal with telling a girl she cannot come over because she is having her periods? That is just archaic. Menses are not dirty.When a girl maintains the right hygiene procedures,this is a woman's most magical time. As a man , get out of your comfort zone and  buy a sanitary towel or tampoon . Watch your girl clean up and get into a comfortable position and see if she will be a pain in your ass. The truth is she won't, as long as a woman has everything she needs, she is still the same woman she is the other days of the month.

Here is the thing about menses that most people don't get to appreciate. As a woman ,menses remind you menses remind us as women of how strong our bodies are. Our power to create life and the choice of when is given to us every month ,all year long. It goes without doubt that a big percentage of the sexually active women look forward to this time of the month. Ignoring the pimples and chubbiness that comes with it,they celebrate at the fact that they made a conscious or sometimes unconscious choice to creating a life .

Menses also show a right of passage .It is a big deal for a woman to have her menses. No matter how messy and annoying they are ,menses make us who we are .It defines one as a woman just like crawling defines grown in a child. We embrace it and so should the society.

Saying words like "kwani unanyesha," certainly do not  build up or encourage a woman. In every essence,the statement is discriminatory . It makes  women conscious of their feelings instead of fully expressing who they are .Every woman is phenomenal. A woman is like a flower , and every flower has a redolence but that is not all a flower is.