IMPOSTER SYNDROME.

 

We have all heard of the imposter syndrome, right? Maybe you have heard it. Or as you read this article, you wonder how many times you have second guessed yourself and your abilities. That innate desire to seek outside validation just to be confident in your abilities. Maybe you grew up knowing you have immense potential and all you have to do is tap into it. What then do you do about that silent fren-enemy that is always telling to slow down? That you are way ahead of your time. it happens more often than not when are a woman. I bet the voice is louder on some days and with age.

I haven’t written in a long time. That in itself is an understatement. I have not written in forever. Everything seems pitch black. I have just enough inspiration for the ideas. It never gets as far as the writing. There is always something pending. There are needs to take care of and I need money like every other person. I have not had courage in a long time to put down my phone and get a pen and my now dusty journal. There is the option of closing my socials and leaving my writing tab open. However, there is always something pending, like a force lurking in the shadows.” I have not checked on a friend in a long time. What is happening in the class group? Why is Cuban trending on twitter? One hour …twenty-four hours later and i have not typed a single sentence.

My friends and teachers told me I sit on raw talent. That I have a powerful voice that I should draw from and put down my power on paper. Well, I am at a point in life where everything hangs on a delicate balance. The uncertainties of life snap me to reality every single day. I keep asking myself who will read stories about a certain small village in a place that almost feels forsaken. All I have is a torch of dreams. the flame sometimes burns so slowly and quietly I am worried the flicker will die. Other days, its bright and loud. I can feel the raging flames burning all my doubts and insecurities away. Those days like this I type the night away.

I wrote this for every soul out there that is feeling stagnated. Those that feel like they want to throw in the towel because they haven’t followed their passions for so long. Those that feel like they are living a lie because they have not been growing. You have not read a book in a long time; it feels wrong to say that reading is your hobby. You are embarrassed to admit that the books on your shelf and reading list are just names and you have not interacted with any. That you may find courage to step out of your comfort zone and fin the fire in you. That you may aglow and grow in your passion. We both know that, agree and believe that passion makes the world burn; makes it beautiful.