WITH LOVE

 

I want them to write stories, conjure plays and scripts about a young girl that loved without fear. Stories that about a girl that gave herself away fearlessly like she knew no hurt. Her life knew no pain and compassion that regarded no boundary. A love that was selfless without limits, the kind that can win an Oscar. I do not refer to those with cheesy lines and speeches of forever. I want to live a life that recognizes the beauty of the moment. Add those tiny moments and maybe total them up to forever. I do not want to live in the destination or in the belief that with time, with more money or more children I will be happier. I want to savor the rising of the sun to its setting and awe at the magnificence of nature. I will be happy with the people I hold dear.

A love that has no respect for history. The kind that makes me discredit everything that went wrong in the past. The kind that makes me look beyond the divorce statistics and broken families. There is more beyond the charade perpetuated by social media.  I want to believe that there are people who find a way to co exists and live happily Otherwise, what is there to live for.  Wy grow up if the story ends in you being alone and miserable. I realize that I sound like a girl with a Cinderella complex, but seriously, what is the point of life if you do not find a way to be happy in the small things that culminate to a happy ending.

To love dearly will be the greatest test of my faith. I have no examples on how perfection looks like in real life. I do know one amazing thing about having no standard to rise to. You can be your standard and be a quality one at it. You do not have to prove that you are mama bear or superwoman. You are totally free. You can take your small steps, one day at a time. Freedom gives you the breathing space to grow and access your progress without feeling the weight of expectations on your shoulders.

When you have seen the pillars of your life brought down by depression, addiction, poverty, self-hate and betrayal. It becomes harder to keep the faith in humanity. When you are caught up in the wake of abuse, how then do you learn to trust the person you lain next to. But every day I question myself, “what then must I do, that I may never endure this?

The answer is in love. To learn patience, humility and kindness that supersedes human understanding. I will teach myself to keep no record of wrong doings, that I may wake up each day with a clean slate. I will speak up on evil at all times. i will always be honest with myself and others and listen just a little more. Above all, I will wait upon my sons and daughters that I may teach them about the power of love.

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